Shows how I still didn’t really understand her. She woke up properly now, sensing my hesitance. ‘What is it Mike, come on, spit it out.’ ‘Well...’ I said, ‘Lena, I want to buy Gianna and me rings. I thought about it last night as I went to sleep. She’s so upset at going back to Silvio. She thinks that it will end then. I don’t want it to, not now. Lena I’m sorry.’ I was scared now, my feelings for Gianna were very strong, as strong as my feelings for Lena, and I was worried how she would feel. She went and visited her folks in Oregon for a week, and when she returned she seemed to be a different person. I don't know what happened while she was away -- maybe she told her parents and they disapproved -- but she was quiet and distant. We made love a couple times but she seemed restrained, withdrawn.Finally she sat me down and told me she didn't want to be with me anymore. She was in her 30's and wanted to have children, and frankly, she missed sex with men. I had a few fake penises in. Let's go in my office."We went into Coach's office and I moved some stuff off a chair in front of the metal desk and sat down. He sat down on his side of the desk in a swivel chair with cracked vinyl upholstery."What's up, Hill?" Coach, I'm thinking of quitting the team." You're what?!" He shot forward as he said this, leaning on the desk on both elbows. "Do you have any idea what that would do to the team?" Coach, I know how much I mean to the team and I hate to do it, but I need to get a job. I mean I knew what I wanted to happen (she blushed), but I really never expected it to be ... so wonderful.“I now realize that what I thought, in the past, was love was nothing. Actually, less than nothing. Two days with you ... and now I know what love truly is.“I want you to know, Sam, my beloved, you don’t ever have to scratch my back, but I will always scratch yours.”????I was trying my best to parse that statement.After a rather prolonged silence, Julie finally asked, “Well, what do you.
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